In the pursuit of love, people often forget to take a step back and ensure that who they are dating is right for them. Without properly qualifying your partners, you cannot create a stable foundation for your relationship to bloom.
You need to know what you want to ensure you are asking the right questions. In your quest to find the right partner, you may try to force it. As a result, you risk losing yourself in the process.
So if you’re seeking a relationship, here are some ways to qualify a potential partner…
Some Signs They Aren’t the One for You:
It Doesn’t Unfold Naturally
A clear sign that it’s not right is if you’re pursuing someone who isn’t pursuing you back. You won’t need to force a connection that is meant for you. I don’t pertain to playing games and trying to get someone to chase you; effort and devotion should be made clear on both ends.
Let it be said that when someone tells you, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” they mean it. Watch out for parts of you that may feel turned on by the chase of trying to change their mind. You deserve to be chosen wholeheartedly.
You Don’t Feel Safe to Express Your True Feelings
While it’s up to you to do your inner work to feel safe speaking for what you want, some people make that feat easier. If you try to share your feelings and they make fun of you, pull back, avoid the conversation or steer it in another direction, they probably aren’t ready and open for love.
Some Signs You’re With the Right Partner
If you’ve ever wondered… “What do people in happy relationships have that I don’t?” You’re not alone. We all experienced some dysfunction in our childhood, forming the basis for how we engage in romantic relationships. No matter your relational struggles, you’re not broken. You are reading this because you’re ready for something more fulfilling, true, and connective, which is beautiful.
Here are some signs you’ve found the right partner…
You’re at Ease When You’re With Them
One of the most important feelings of being with the right partner is having a sense of relaxation around them. With the right partner, you sense there isn’t a need to ‘perform’ for them. Instead, you allow yourself to be you.
When I met my partner, we both knew it was right because of how good we felt in our bodies and nervous systems together!
This doesn’t mean there won’t be an occasional argument or disagreement with the right partner, but you’ll know it’s safe to express your feelings and truth.
You Share the Relationship Desires
You’ve checked in to see what level of commitment they want, and it also aligns with your desires. You also share similar values. It’s normal and healthy to have differences in relationships, but their core values and ethos fit the kind of life you want to co-create.
Here are Some Other Indicators. When it’s Right, you Can…
- Share your truth, needs and desires and be met with receptivity.
- Have a conversation about what you’re looking for right away.
- Express your true feelings for them and feel closer as a result.
- Settle into trust, not worrying if they will choose you or not.
- Co-create safety, so you both feel safe in bringing all parts of you forward.
Final Thoughts
Holding back your thoughts and feelings in an attempt to be chosen is not a stable foundation for a relationship. While it’s up to you to express your truth to them, the right person will make that journey easier.
So if you’re chasing something that isn’t naturally unfolding, go inward and get curious. What is it about this dynamic that draws me in?
Attraction is an unconscious choice. Exploring what the people you are attracted to ‘represent’ to your unconscious mind is part of the process I walk clients through.
Don’t settle for breadcrumbs when you could have the whole feast. Your wants and desires are not too much to ask.
It is possible to be met in the ways you crave. So hold out for the person who will prove that right to you.
If you want support to go deeper and end painful relationship patterns, book a call to learn more about Alchemy.
